Love's Holy Grail (2016)
So this is permanence, love’s holy grail.
A lifetime of memories outlasting
your vinyl collection of b-sides
and musical notes, crumbled up scribbles
of inspiration lining the pockets of the tightly
fit blue jeans that used to drive me wild,
only to be discovered in the impersonal
confines of the cold, solidary bedroom
of the life I willfully married into.
The complexities of your personality
prevented both piles of clothes
and the love I sought to accumulate
on the floor, as you always thrived
for perfection in every aspect of your
young life. I suppose we both knew
it would only be a matter of time before
your compassion got the better of us.
Love would indeed eventually tear us
to shreds, but love would also bring me
closer to you in the years since you made
the decision to lighten your burden.
You would always reinsure me
that the explosions were never my fault,
but the shrapnel accompanies the truth
in the writing of every line you wrote.
For twenty-three years, you perfected
the awkward rhythm of the dance,
but your influence would outlive the shambling
you committed on the stage of the shady
dive bars we frequent. In the spotlight, you retreated
further into the epileptic abyss where
I knew you would live out your days until
the transmission faded away with the dawn.